Contact lenses from hell!

I have a nice pair of black cat-eye spectacles, which I use everyday, but of course they won’t do on the day of my engagement party. Neither can I go spectacle-less. I need to be able to tell people apart, you see! So I pulled myself together and visited the opthalmologist.

(By the way, I’m the sort of girl who jumps a mile even when my mom tries to put eye drops in my eyes. No funny business around the eyes – is my motto.)

After a long wait in the reception, I walk in through the clinic’s sliding door, to find weird eye equipment, a couple of seats, a venerable, old, silver-haired doctor, and his plump, middle-aged nurse. There is also another patient in the adjoining room, which serves as some sort of waiting area. The doctor starts off by yelling at the other patient. Age has not mellowed down the doctor. (Why are so many doctors so socially inept? They should have a ‘bedside-manner’ course at medical school). Luckily he didn’t yell at me. He peered at my eyes through some of the weird equipment, made me read a couple of letters from the board, and asked me to come in the next day for my contact lens consultation. Phew.

Day 2: The nurse took me to the side-room and made me wash my hands. Then she gave me a pair of trial lenses and explained how I was supposed to put them in and take them out. (Did you know you have to pinch – yes, pinch – the lens to remove it from the eye. What if I pinch my eye-ball?).

My long-ish nails didn’t help things forward. Balancing the lens on the tip of my finger, without letting the fingernail scrape it, was a task in itself. With the other hand, I had to open my eye wide. The other fingernails dug into my skin. I brought my finger (the one with the lens) close to my eye. Closer. Closer. Too close for comfort. And snap – shut my eye. Believe you me, I had to endure this rigmarole about a million times till I could finally get the lens into my eye.

IMG_20140803_154655
Apparently I have no problem with paws close to my eye! (This is Minmin as a kitten)

And then the mean old doctor gave me another sample lens to try on! Because the nurse had put some anaesthetic drops in my eyes the first time, the first session had happened pretty smoothly. The second was a nightmare. In the end the doctor pinned me against a chair, the nurse held my head in a vice-like grip, and they somehow fished the lens out of my poor abused eye.

The doctor tells me he’s never had a worse patient. The nurse is plain disgusted. They think I’m too squeamish. They think my eye is too sensitive. But look here, if an explosion was to happen, and minute bits of shrapnel came flying right at us, me, with my awesome eye-reflexes would snap my eye shut. I’d be safe. I would preserve my eye-sight. Not so with the doctor and nurse, I’m afraid. Ha!

PS: I reaaaalllllllyyyyy need to do this. I have exactly 24 days to learn. Send some good vibes my way!

Oh, the things a bride has to endure!

Love,

Ms. Sassy

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33 thoughts on “Contact lenses from hell!

      1. Okay, sari for asking! Your post did inspire me, however, to perhaps write about my own eye experience, the time I had surgery on my eyelid. We’ll have to see if I can find the courage. Stay tuned!

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  1. πŸ˜€ oh , what we go through to look better πŸ˜‰
    Just two suggestions : if you can , shorten or round a bit your nails (thumb and first finger) ; and put lots of saline solution before you try the lens (the moister your eyes are , the better the lens will cling) . And try to relax , they will become second nature to you πŸ˜‰
    Turtle Hugs

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  2. Oh wow this is exactly what I’ve been thinking I should do as a prep for my wedding – getting my first contact lenses!! It sound so horrible to blob something into your eyeball… But the day is getting closer. Good luck with your new lenses!

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  3. Wow! I have been wearing contact lenses for 25 years. I was used to putting them in and taking them out by about day 2!

    Unless you are pinching hard enough to try to kill someone, I’m pretty sure it is not possible to pinch your eye! πŸ˜€

    But… I have never been squeamish at all about stuff like this… so I am probably not helpful! Yes…plenty of saline…I’ve had no real issues even with longer nails…and at this point, it takes me 15 seconds tops to put them in our take them out. It takes me longer to squirt solution into the case!

    I think if you keep trying you’ll get used to it! πŸ™‚

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      1. No… Don’t feel like a wimp! Guess what? Glasses really bother me and I hate wearing them… I think I put on glasses for about 20 minutes a year. At the most. They make me feel disoriented and I have never had a comfortable pair in my life! (Yet I have $5 sunglasses that I love…weird!) So yeah…I’m a wimp with glasses! Haha πŸ˜€

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      2. Hahaha! To each her own I guess! πŸ˜› I love my cat-eye glasses. The shape makes me feel all pretty! ANd they go really well on jeans and casuals.
        Once I master lenses though I’m gonna try coloured contacts!

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  4. Time to change doctors, dear girl–you do not need an abusive dolt poking around your eyes!

    You have a very nicely shaped face that would honor all sorts of attractively framed glasses. My titanium frames are very comfortable, lightweight, and non-threatening. I can put them on anytime without worrying about poking my eye out and not realizing it’s missing till daylight. Think about it. . . .

    Cheers to you and Sauce.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh so sweet of you Lauren! Thanks! πŸ™‚ Yes I do love my current pair of glasses. Haha I’ll see about a nicer doctor too πŸ˜€
      Btw Sauce isn’t a person. Just a refernce to the recipes I sometimes put up on the blog πŸ™‚

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  5. I got my contacts when I was 16. Man, it took me ages to get used too them. I’ve even put contact lenses on top of contact lenses and kind of freaked out cos my eye sight is re blurred. Thanks for the follow πŸ™‚

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